We all have a Heavy Metal lover on our gift lists, yes? If not, you’re probably hanging out with the wrong people. But if you’re not really into Heavy Metal or familiar with the glorious history of Heavy Metal (shame on you) you’ll probably end up buying that person something shameful like a Poison Greatest Hits CD or a Def Leppard t-shirt.
Then you’ll probably have one less Heavy Metal loving friend.
Don’t worry, I’m here to save you from being the unknowing victim of a diabolical Satanic hex of darkness and discord. I’ve combined a few kickass gifts from my 2012 and 2013 Heavy Metal holiday gifts posts with a few new ones for this year to make you look like a Metal God.
You’re welcome…
This might be the coolest gift on this year’s list. This mini fridge features authentic Marshall Amp parts including logos, fret cloth and brass-finished faceplate. It’s the ultimate combination of rock and refrigeration.
Inspired by one of the greatest bands of all time, Converse has created three new sneakers for the Fall season. The collaboration, as Converse puts it, features album artwork from Black Sabbath’s most groundbreaking records “Never Say Die” and “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath” (OK, we can forgive the folks at Converse for not really knowing Sabbath’s most groundbreaking albums). The sneakers were designed by acclaimed illustrator Drew Struzan and if you know your heavy Metal lover’s shoe size (and why wouldn’t you?), you’re set.
I’M THE MAN: THE STORY FROM THAT GUY FROM ANTHRAX
When Metal Heads aren’t listening to Metal, they’re probably reading books and “I’m the Man” is the fast–paced, humorous, and revealing memoir from Scott Ian, the man who co-founded Anthrax, one of the earliest Thrash Metal bands (though none of their albums ever came close to their classic first album featuring former lead singer Neil Turbin but that’s just my stupid opinion). Revolver Magazine states: “[A] compelling memoir…Like any good rock bio, ‘I’m the Man’ abounds with tales of debauchery, fisticuffs, and other insanity on the road…The book is also full of revelations…All this keeps the pages turning.” The Houston Press adds: “it’s also about how this short Jewish kid from Queens, N.Y. basically got through life with the help of music.” You can also pick up a cool Scott Ian 8″ action figure HERE.
He’s the legendary and influential lead singer of Black Metal pioneers Mercyful Fate and the eponymous King Diamond in a domed resin sealed pendant necklace. Nuff said.
What Metal Head doesn’t love Slayer? And liquor? Make their holiday season one from the abyss with this awesome hip flask.
METALLICA – LITTLE HORSEMAN INFANT BODYSUIT
Is the Heavy Metal lover in your life expecting a baby? Then this baby shower gift will have them calling you “Master! Master!” The link also features infant body suits for Pantera, Slayer and other great Metal bands.
Traditional greeting cards can be quite lame, yes? Well, Dark & Somber Greetings will make the Black Metal lover in your life eschew e-mail and start buying stamps at the post office, eager to send birthday cards or a holiday message to their friends, family or one of their patron demons. Photographer Courtney Frystak and designer/musician Farron Loathing use traditional Black Metal photography to create these ghastly greeting cards that will delight even the most black-hearted misanthropic creature. And with inscriptions like “It Is Time To Celebrate the Quickening of Your Death” and “If I Had a Heart I Would Give It To You”, how can you go wrong?
MOTORHEAD “IRON FIST” CLOCK MADE FROM 7″ VINYL
This 7″ red vinyl wall clock featuring one of Motorhead’s most popular songs will be the perfect addition to any Metal lovers office, den or cave. The site also features clocks from Metallica, Iron Maiden, Megadeth and others. Get shopping.
So let’s say the Heavy Metal lover in your life is a friend but not an A-List (or even B-list) friend – but you still want to get them something cool. Well you can’t go wrong with a t-shirt. Made from 6.0 oz, pre-shrunk 100% cotton, this t-shirt is a can’t miss gift.
MOSH POTATOES: RECIPES, ANECTDOTES, AND MAYHEM FROM THE HEAVYWEIGHTS OF HEAVY METAL
Divided into “Opening Acts” (appetizers), “Headliners” (entrees), and “Encores” (desserts), “Mosh Potatoes” features 147 recipes that every Heavy Metal fan will want to devour. With recipes like Spicy Turkey Vegetable Chipotle Chili from Ron Thal of Guns N’ Roses, Orange Tequila Shrimp from Joey Belladonna of Anthrax, Pasta Terror from Millie of Kreator, Tarragon Salmon from Bobby Blitz of Overkill, and Krakatoa Surprise from Lemmy of Motorhead, “Mosh Potatoes is so damn hot that Satan himself would get out of the kitchen!” {Morgan Lander, Kittie}
JUDAS PRIEST LIMITED EDITION STATUES BY KNUCKLEBONZ
Not a fan of Judas Priest? You need to hand in your Metal Head card and sit in the corner listening to Quiet Riot and wearing a crown of thorns. These limited edition statues of Rob Halford, Glenn Tipton & KK Downing will have any true Metal lover riding on the wind. NOTE: You can also find them on amazon and ebay if they happen to be sold out.
THE ART OF METAL: FIVE DECADES OF HEAVY METAL ALBUM COVERS, POSTERS, T-SHIRTS AND MORE
In The Art of Metal, renowned music journalist Malcolm Dome offers a chronological collection of the colorful, outlandish, and sophisticated album covers, posters, T-shirts, and more that span decades of heavy metal music. The book includes 400 works of art that are complemented by in-depth features, including quotes from the graphic artists and musicians responsible for them. Oh, and did I mention the book features a foreword by Lemmy of Motörhead? That.
Yeah, they suck ass now and have since the infamous “Black Album” but these Thrash Metal pioneers still get much respect for their first four glorious groundbreaking albums. This take on the classic board game allows you to purchase property with your Metalli-money, while building stadiums and arenas on each street for the best appraisal. Land on one of the “Binge and Purge” or “Jump in the Fire” spaces and be rewarded or fined in true Metallica form. A gift any “REAL” Metallica fan will love.
OK, so I’ve given you more than enough ideas to please that Heavy Metal lover in your life this holiday season – now get shopping (rocking). And if you’re a Metal Head like I am, check out my post The 10 Greatest Classic Thrash Metal Albums of All Time.
Happy Holidays!!!
