Tag:

family

Life on ECMO: Connor’s Survival Story (Video)

by Dan Perez November 24, 2014

Mandi and Patrick had not yet held their first born child when doctors informed them that their son Connor needed to be rushed to Miami Children’s Hospital with a bacterial infection that was threatening his life. Over the next few days, Connor’s condition worsened and doctors at Miami Children’s Hospital decided the only option left was to put him on ECMO (Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation), a life-saving technique that mimics the natural function of the heart and lungs, allowing an infant or child to rest while natural healing of the affected organs takes place.

Four days of ECMO treatment and three weeks after arriving at Miami Children’s Hospital, Connor’s mother got to hold her son for the very first time.

Here’s the latest in a series of “Patient of the Month” videos I’ve been producing for Miami Children’s Health Foundation who raise funds and awareness for Miami Children’s Hospital – this is Connor’s remarkable story.

[vimeo]https://vimeo.com/112499613[/vimeo]

Like us on facebook and you’ll make us really happy; we’re not sure why, though, but studies have shown that people who like our facebook page are 37% cooler than people who don’t…

November 24, 2014

Blog It Is Written The Written Word

The Secret to a Successful Marriage? The Answer will Surprise You

by Dan Perez August 25, 2014

written by Dan Perez

I’ve been holding back on writing this post since I originally got the idea to write it when my wife and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary back in April. We posted a picture on facebook of us just kicking back at home and I spoke about what I thought the “secret” to our marriage was. It ended up generating quite a few responses. I’ve wanted to elaborate a bit on that but I’ve held back because I didn’t want to sound like some schmuck giving out marriage advice.

I’ve always found it absurd for one married couple to give marriage advice to another married couple. People are different; where they come from, what they’re motivated by, who they look up to, who/what they’re influenced by, etc. What might work well for one couple may not for another.

Marriage advice? Keep it to yourself, please.

Now, here’s our story.

When I started my video production business 7+ years ago, my first gigs (like most videographers starting out) were weddings. Shot a few of them for my company and also shot many a wedding for other event companies and my favorite part of the wedding reception were the wedding toasts. You know, the part where the best man and maid of honor gush over what an “amazing” couple the bride and groom are, how they were just made for each other, how enviable their love for one another is.

Oh, and then the parents (if they’re both still married) and grandparents (if they’re both still alive) grab the mic and share their marriage “secrets” with the young couple; “Always listen to each other”, “Say ‘I love you’ to each other every single day”, “Never ever go to bed mad at each other” and my personal favorite, “Remember, kids, a successful marriage is hard work!” I love that one but more on that later. Now back to me and Mrs. Perez.

As of 2014, Mrs. Perez and I have been married 16 years. 16 really good years. Oh, and we didn’t exactly get off to a smooth start. My daughter was already 6 months old when we decided to get married (mostly pressure from our families), I was making barely $25k/year working in sales at a small catering business in the Bronx, my wife (who was on disability for a kidney transplant she received 7 years prior) wasn’t working and we ended up having to move into her parent’s house on Long Island after we tied the knot because I couldn’t afford a place of our own. As for the honeymoon? All I could afford was a weekend stay in chilly Montauk, New York, at Daunt’s Albatross Motel (which is still there today).

Then things really got interesting.

My wife’s transplanted kidney failed a few months after we got married (less than a year after my daughter was born). She would go on to spend the next nine years on dialysis. During that time, however, my career began to blossom and I landed a rather nice paying job as a sales manager in a large family entertainment center on Long Island. We were able to buy our first house (I loved that house) but after three years at my sweet but highly stressful job, I ended up on the losing end of a power struggle and was fired.

Hello, monster.com

After a few months of searching, I received a comparable job offer from a multi-acre family entertainment center in South Florida so we ended up selling our house (did I mention how much I loved that house?) and relocating to Fort Lauderdale from New York, leaving our families and friends behind.

Florida. Yeah, I know.

Less than a year later, Mrs. Perez was diagnosed with a large aneurysm in her heart and had to have her aortic valve replaced back in New York (thanks, Dr. Oz!). My wife then received her second kidney transplant (a few years after her heart surgery) right at the same time I decided to start a video production company. A hobby will always just be a hobby unless you take action, right? Right.

Oh, and then the rising real estate market in South Florida suddenly tanked; the home equity we were hoping to hold us over vanished. We ended up burning through our finances and all our savings. And just last summer, my wife’s aortic valve had to be replaced yet again in New York’s Presbyterian Hospital.

Sounds like a Alejandro González Iñárritu movie, no?

But here’s the thing, we got through all that. Our marriage stronger, our family stronger. And it could have easily gone the other way. Health issues, relocation, plummeting finances – these sort of challenges have left many a failed marriage in their wake.

So how did we do it? What was our secret? Dumb luck.

The right two people got married, that’s all. We didn’t know it then but we sure as shit know it now. And that’s not to say we’ve made it the whole way through yet – we’ve come a ways but we’re nowhere near the finish line; there are more challenges to come. We both know that.

And as for the whole “marriage is hard work” thing? Rubbish. It ain’t that marriage is hard, it’s that life starts to really suck right around the time we get married (early-late twenties). You know, right around the time we’re trying to pay off our college loans while working our asses off climbing up the corporate ladder (or trying to launch our own business) so that we can make more money so that we can buy a nice big house with a nice car in the driveway in a really nice neighborhood and buy really cool shit at Ikea and send our kids to private school.

That’s usually the time when you get stuck with an overworked asshole of a boss (or you find out that you suck as the boss of that business you started that was gonna allow you to retire at the age of 42) and your 3-year plan to save up for a house turns into 7 years living in an apartment and your first kid is born with autism and your wife now has to quit her job to be a full-time mom and your finances take a hit and the nice house with the nice car in that nice neighborhood and all that cool shit you were gonna buy at Ikea seems like a stupid dream now.

Let’s just say our lives become more complicated right around the time most of us get married, yes?

Life makes us work.

With that said, I don’t feel I’ve ever worked a day in my life on my marriage. Life can really suck ass sometimes but my marriage is where I go to escape that. It’s where I find solace, peace, happiness. Are we really expected to punch out at our “job” (which a majority of people hate) and then punch in again to work when we get home to our spouse?

I don’t think so.

You’ll hear people say about their jobs that when you love what you do, it isn’t work. Shouldn’t marriage be the same thing? It is in this house. Why? Because I married the right person. And it wasn’t because I was smart – just lucky.

And here’s the really stupid part about the whole thing: nobody knows it on the day they get married. The day before life starts to show you how malicious it can be. The day before your wife’s kidney fails and she has to go on dialysis for the next nine years, the day before you get fired from your job, have to move to another state (Florida!), have to watch your wife get the aortic valve of her heart replaced twice, start a business, lose your whole life’s savings…

And I know this is gonna sound as corny as hell but besides the few days my wife was still too groggy from the heavy dose of anesthesia she received from her surgeries, I can’t remember a single day where we didn’t laugh together. Not one.

There’s no marriage secret for that, that’s just dumb luck.

Through it all, we’ve seen our daughter grow to be a beautifully cynical young lady (daddy’s girl, God help her), seen my wife receive a perfect match of a kidney after her doctors just about ruled out any possibility of that ever happening (seven years since her transplant and still going strong), seen my business grow each of the past seven years, even winning a few film festival awards along the way, all the while realizing that long stays in the hospital and not having money couldn’t break us…

And did I mention we’ve laughed every single day?

Dumb luck. That’s the secret to a successful marriage. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

*crosses fingers*

Like us on facebook and you’ll make us really happy; we’re not sure why, though, but studies have shown that people who like our facebook page are 37% cooler than people who don’t…

August 25, 2014

Corporate Giving Back Miami Children's Hospital Sound and Vision

One Nurse, Two Teenagers, Two Mothers, One Sickle Cell Story

by Dan Perez August 10, 2014

written by Dan Perez

When Evelyn Cruz, a nurse practitioner in the Sickle Cell Comprehensive Care Center at Miami Children’s Hospital, noticed one of her teenage patients, Sydnie, having a particularly tough time during a treatment stay at the hospital, she took action. She contacted the mother of one of her other teenage patients, Tenille, who was also coping with sickle cell, and asked if she would mind introducing Tenille to Sydnie. The mother agreed and a friendship was formed between not only the two teenage girls coping with sickle cell but their mothers as well.

Their remarkable story is the latest in a continuing series of videos I’ve been producing for Miami Children’s Health Foundation, who raise funds and awareness for Miami Children’s Hospital.

[vimeo]https://vimeo.com/102462017[/vimeo]

Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder in which the body produces abnormally shaped red blood cells. In sickle cell disease, the hemoglobin in red blood cells clumps together, causing red blood cells to become stiff and C-shaped. These sickle cells block blood and oxygen flow in blood vessels. Sickle cells break down more rapidly than normal red blood cells, which results in anemia. Complications caused by sickle cell disease include kidney and liver problems, infections, stroke, as well as bone and joint problems.

About 70,000-100,000 Americans, mostly African-Americans, have sickle cell disease. About 2 million Americans have sickle cell trait. People who have sickle cell trait do not develop sickle cell disease, but they are “carriers” who can pass the abnormal gene on to their children.

You can help children like Tenille and Sydnie by visiting mchf.org/donate.

Like us on facebook and you’ll make us really happy; we’re not sure why, though, but studies have shown that people who like our facebook page are 37% cooler than people who don’t…

August 10, 2014

Blog It Is Written The Written Word

If Today Was Their Last Day: A True Story

by Dan Perez December 8, 2013

written by Dan Perez

***I published this post three years ago during the holiday season. I look back on it every now and then and it still resonates with me; still serves to remind me that even though tomorrow is highly likely, it still isn’t guaranteed – for you or someone close to you. With the holidays and the new year upon us, I decided to share it again.***

IF TODAY WAS THEIR LAST DAY

You often hear the saying, “Live each day as if it’s your last“. It sounds like quite an exciting way to live one’s life, yes? I’m a believer, however, that living each and every day in such a manner would surely burn you out by around day 46. Why the need for such urgency? I mean, less than 1% of the world’s population dies each day so the percentages that you’ll live to see tomorrow are heavily in your favor. You never know, though, do you? Now, imagine if it wasn’t your last day but *their* last day? Another person in your life; a friend, family member, spouse, loved one. What if someone you cared for wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow morning and neither one of you knew it?

Oh, and they were spending their last night with you?

THE LAST DAY

Victor was a fellow videographer who I met at a local professional videographers association meeting. We hit it off well from the beginning and over time had become good friends. I hired him for several of my own video productions, even bringing him with me up to Orlando one time for an overnight video shoot. You can learn a lot from a person when you spend over 6 hours with them in a car. What I liked best about him was his professionalism and easy-going style. He was the kind of guy you liked within a few minutes, he radiated health and positive energy and was always smiling. You don’t meet too many people like that.

Several months had gone by without us speaking (for no particular reason) until one day I found myself videotaping an afternoon wedding with a photographer who I knew was also friends with Victor. Near the end of the shoot, I asked him if he had seen or spoken with Victor lately. He paused and looked at me quizzically for a second before he said,
“You haven’t heard?”
Heard what?
“Victor had a heart attack.”
A heart attack?!
“Yeah.”
Did he die?
“No, he’s doing OK. He’s staying with his sister in Miami.”
Oh.

I called Victor as soon as I got to my car. He told me he had survived what doctors call a “Widow Maker” heart attack. He said he had felt a sudden pain in his chest and checked himself into the nearest hospital. That’s when the heart attack occurred. “My doctor told me I’m lucky to be alive” he said. “Most people don’t survive those kinds of heart attacks.” He went on to say that he was feeling good and was staying at his sister’s house in downtown Miami while he recovered.

The next month, I arranged with Victor to stop by his sister’s house and visit him as my wife and I were driving back home from a holiday party we were attending in Miami. We arrived at his sister’s house a little after 9pm. Victor was glad to see me and it was good to see him. He looked amazingly well – you’d never know that he had survived a lethal heart attack just a few months earlier. He introduced my wife and I to his sister and her teenage son and daughter – they all made us feel very welcome. To our surprise, the sister had prepared a meal for us so we all sat down to eat together.

Over the next two hours, we ate, drank wine, talked and laughed – a lot. It was as if we were all old friends. It was a shame to have to leave but we promised our daughter’s sitter that we’d be home no later than midnight. Before leaving, we shared a couple more laughs and then it was time for farewell hugs. As we got into our car and pulled away, we saw Victor and his sister waving to us from the front of the house. Victor had a huge grin on his face.

It was the last time I would see him alive.

THE DAY AFTER THE LAST DAY

Late the next morning, I called Victor’s cell phone to thank him and his sister for their hospitality. It wasn’t his voice I heard when the phone was answered but rather the voice of his nephew. I asked if Victor was around. There was an unusually long pause on the other end of the line before I heard, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but…Victor died in his sleep last night.” My blood suddenly ran cold. Surely this was some sort of joke. “When we went to his room this morning, we found him dead in his bed.” All the saliva in my mouth seemed to have dried up and I was barely able to muster, “He died? How could that be?” Now, this was a person who was eating, drinking, and laughing with us just the night before. Dead? The nephew went on to tell me, “The paramedics said he must have had another heart attack in his sleep. He didn’t survive this one.”

After regaining my senses somewhat, I expressed how shocked I was to hear the news and clumsily began offering my condolences. The nephew then told me, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing. Last night was the happiest he’s been since he had the heart attack. I’d never seen him in such a good mood. He never plays video games but after you guys left, he played video games with us until three in the morning. He was so happy that you guys had come over.” I was speechless.

Needless to say, my wife was visibly shaken and stunned when I told her what had happened. Even the news about how happy he had been after we had left did little to raise her spirits, or mine; what had happened was just too weird. Later that week, we were on our way to Victor’s funeral. When we arrived, I sought out Victor’s sister. Upon seeing my wife and I, she rushed over to us with tears in her eyes. As we embraced, she began to tell us how happy our visit had made Victor, how he hadn’t been in such a good mood in months. In a strange way, it began to make my wife and I feel good that with no knowledge of what the future would hold, we had helped make another human being’s last night on Earth a special one.

THEIR LAST DAY?

Victor died at forty years old. He had no wife or children. I was far from his best friend but at the funeral I met many of his friends and loved ones that surely wished they had seen him once more before he passed. Which brings me back to that overused phrase: “Live each day as if it’s your last”. We hear it often enough but only a very rare few can actually live their lives that way. It’s too damn hard to squeeze every possible sliver of life out of every single day, right?

But what if we spun it around a bit so that it applied not to us but to our family and friends; our loved ones? That we live each day as if it might be *their* last? That we cherish the time spent with those we love – that we make sure we find a reason to laugh together and that when we say goodbye, there’s nothing left unsaid. That we put aside petty differences and say, “I forgive you” and “I’m sorry”. That we not take the special people in our life for granted but rather, we let them know that we’re thankful for them, that we love them.

Because they may not wake up the next morning.

[Photographs by Ric Capucho]

December 8, 2013

Corporate Giving Back Sound and Vision The Written Word

CHARLEE Homes for Children: Adoption, Independent Living, & Reunification

by Dan Perez May 20, 2012

written by Dan Perez

CHARLEE (Children Have All Rights: Legal, Educational and Emotional) is a private not-for-profit agency that cares for children ages 0-23 years old in Miami-Dade County who have been placed in foster care due to abuse, abandonment and neglect or are at risk of being placed in foster care. For the past 28 years, CHARLEE has helped thousands of children in the foster care system begin a new life.

For the past three years, I have produced fund-raising videos for CHARLEE Homes for Children and have gotten to know the dedicated people behind the vital services they provide to the South Florida community. With a committed staff of over 150 employees and a core of dedicated volunteers and interns, CHARLEE has served thousands of children in Miami-Dade’s foster care system. Throughout the years, they have expanded their programs and services to meet the needs of the many children in their care.

Here are just three examples of the types of services they provide…

ADOPTION

CHARLEE’s mission is to provide exceptional services to abused, abandoned, and neglected children. One of the ways they achieve that goal is by educating prospective parents through the Parenting Resources for Information, Development and Education (PRIDE) program which is designed to strengthen the quality of family foster care and adoption services. Through the program, CHARLEE has been able to finalize close to 100 adoptions each year.

INDEPENDENT LIVING PROGRAM

Most youth learn the skills needed to live independently through their parents, guardians and/or extended family. Unfortunately, many youth in foster care do not have the opportunity to learn these skills at home either because they are moving from placement to placement or they are living in a large institutional facility where these skills are not stressed. Ultimately, the experience of life in foster care combined with the added stress of being unprepared for independent living has a multitude of negative implications for these youth. The CHARLEE life skills training curriculum consists of bi-weekly workshops for youth between the ages of 13 and 17. These workshops focus on the tools necessary for our children to achieve self-sufficiency and independence.

REUNIFICATION

Research shows that a child is better poised to succeed in life when he or she is able to thrive within the original family, as opposed to entering into foster care. Keeping that in mind, the goal at CHARLEE is to provide families with all the necessary tools to provide a healthy and happy environment for the child. At CHARLEE, they always seek to achieve permanency for the children in their care by reuniting them with their biological parents. In the case of Tondaleeia, that included helping her overcome her 17 year drug addiction.

For more information, visit www.charlee.org. And whether you live in South Florida or in another part of the country, get to know more about the foster care/adoption organizations in your area – and get involved. Nationwide, there are close to half a million children living in foster care. 20,000 of these youth emancipate or “age out” of the foster care system, and are discharged from the system, whether or not they
are prepared to transition to adulthood. Moreover, 25% of former foster youth will be incarcerated within the first 2 years of emancipation.

Surely, there’s a little something we all can do to make a difference in the lives of these children and their families…

Don’t you think?

Subscribe in a reader and never miss a new post. You won’t be sorry…promise.

May 20, 2012

Blog Sound and Vision The Written Word

The Bronx, Grand Concourse, and Going Home Again: An Observation

by Dan Perez April 29, 2012

written by Dan Perez

Over the past two weeks, I returned back home to the Bronx where I lived the first 28 years of my life. The first occasion was for the sudden passing of my dearest friend’s father. A bittersweet occasion made memorable by being able to see all my brothers and sisters (there are seven of us) for the first time in almost five years (you can always count on a funeral to bring families together, yes?).

I returned a week later to see one of my favorite bands, Yo La Tengo, perform at (Le) Poisson Rouge in New York City’s West Village (they were terrific). It had been almost two years since I visited the borough where I experienced the pleasures and pitfalls of a misspent youth. Lots of memories there. And as the time that I moved away from the old neighborhood grows, it becomes all the more dear to me.

But only because I got out.

The Perez Family (Brothers & Sisters)

Our family moved to the Grand Concourse from University Avenue while I was in third grade. The Grand Concourse (originally known as the Grand Boulevard and Concourse) was first built in 1894 and was opened to traffic in 1909. It was conceived as a means of connecting the borough of Manhattan to the northern Bronx. It stretches four and a half miles in length, measures 180 feet across, and is separated into three roadways by tree-lined dividers. It was hailed as the Champs-Élysées of the Bronx and was the ultimate prestige address for vast numbers of the city’s upper-middle class. But that was a long time ago.

Like much of the rest of the Bronx, the Grand Concourse experienced decay and decline during the 1970s and the 1980s. However, as most of the abandoned buildings were razed, the handsome Art Deco buildings that adorn the tree lined streets of the Concourse were spared. It is still an architectural treasure, its forgotten beauty still evident. My little piece of the Concourse was on the corner of 196th Street; that was my whole world as a kid. And it was a great place to grow up.

My mother, the undisputed Queen of the building, still resides there; a woman barely five feet tall in a spacious three bedroom apartment that once was home to her seven children. An apartment filled with sweet and melancholy memories; the sound of laughter and the occasional (or was it common?) roar of dissent between brother and sister. It was the apartment where my father suffered a life-ending heart attack when he was only 50 years old in 1991. I watched many a New York Mets game with him in the living room on an old 19” black and white TV, now replaced with a grand 42” plasma.

My brother (#1) and sister (#6) at my father’s tombstone, St. Raymond Cemetery

We were fortunate to have one of the few apartments that looked out to the front and back of the building. You only had to peek out through the curtains to see if any of your friends were hanging out outside. It was the kind of neighborhood where there was rarely a dull moment. We played touch football, wiffle ball, and Chinese handball (known as “slugs”) right out in front of the building (to the chagrin of many passing pedestrians), usually until the wee hours of the morning (to the chagrin of those trying to get a peaceful night’s sleep).

When we weren’t playing, we were just “chilling” on whatever car that happened to be parked in front of the building. Talking, snapping on each other, boys flirting with girls; there was always action in front of our building. It’s what made growing up on 196th & the Grand Concourse so special. It’s why I am who I am…and I’d never change that.

But when it was time to go, it was time to go; to grow. “The block” only has so much it can offer. There are other worlds to explore away from its deceptive comforts. Some people are destined to never leave; the false sense of betrayal too strong to overcome. For others, myself included, life created a new set of conditions that couldn’t be ignored. We were pulled away, kicking and screaming, fearing the unknown, only to realize the world is a much bigger place than “the block”. That we need not fear this new world with its new landscape filled with new people who speak and dress and act differently than the people in the world we used to know. It’s how we grow. How I grew. And I can now appreciate the old neighborhood for what it was; for how it shaped me. Not for the world it cost me.

And for that I’m grateful.

Enjoy a few photos of the “old neighborhood”

Here’s where it all went down. Our apartment building took up the whole corner. We’d usually be hanging out right out front, sitting on whatever car(s) was parked by the light post. On the wall to the right of the red car is where we’d play “slugs” (sometimes as many as 8-10 people), football, and wiffle ball (pitching from the street to the wall).

On the wall behind us, you couldn’t touch my boy Tito and I when it came to “slugs”. We were each other’s only competition. People would come from other blocks to play us and be sent back home, humbled, within minutes (I once saw Tito whip someone, who claimed he was the slugs champion of his block, using just his left hand!). I’d never ever admit it to him but he may have been just a bit better than I was. Maybe.

View of the Grand Concourse, once considered “the Park Avenue of middle-class Bronx residents”. It is only a shell of what it once was but you only need to walk a few blocks with a keen eye to notice the many artifacts from it’s glorious past.

Looking up from the front of the building.

The once glorious entrance.

The inner hallway, with terrazzo floors and brass handle rails (that were eventually stolen), still retains a sliver of its original charm.

What certainly must have been an amenity back when the building was first built – an elevator.

When it was too cold (or hot) outside, the many inner staircases proved a more than suitable place for hanging out (not to mention a host of other things that would make a mother frown).

The apartment provided a grand view of the front of the building and the Grand Concourse…

as well as a grand view of the back of the building (looking out towards Valentine Avenue). The back courtyard, once an ideal location for a “block party”, became a dark and dangerous place in the evening. The back entrance was closed in the early 80’s after a rash of muggings and drug dealing activity.

My mom and my sister (#3) in the kitchen

Side view from what was once the bedroom shared by my two sisters (I can still hear the cat-fighting when I walk in there!)

Another view of the front of the building from the living room window. The Art Deco style moldings that adorned the top of the building above the windows (common in many of the buildings that line the Grand Concourse) had to be removed after a chunk of it fell to the ground, just missing a passerby.

From the hallway just outside the apartment is a window with a stellar view of the basement entrance on 196th Street (if you can stand the stench of garbage and the occasional rat sighting).

Conveniently located at the corner of the building is the Kingsbridge Road D Train station. Must have descended that malodorous staircase several thousand times on my way to Manhattan (where I worked at the New York Public Library on 42nd Street and 5th Avenue for almost 10 years!).

Well, thanks for allowing me to share a little bit about me and where I’m from. I certainly enjoyed it (it was, after all, about me) and I hope you did, too.

So now, where are you from?

Like us on facebook and you’ll make us really happy; we’re not sure why, though, but studies have shown that people who like our facebook page are 37% cooler than people who don’t…

April 29, 2012

Featured

Heartworms, Rabies, and Crafty Veterinarians: A Love Story

by Dan Perez October 16, 2011

written by Dan Perez

OK, I have a confession. I’ve been a bad doggy owner. When I first got my pug Buddy almost four years ago (as a Christmas gift for my daughter), I was informed by a friend of a friend of the original owner that Buddy had gotten all his vaccination shots. I told the friend of a friend of Buddy’s original owner to get me a copy of the form so if the Doggy Police ever showed up at my door threatening to pee on my leg unless I produce a record of Buddy’s vaccination history, I’d be straight. The friend of a friend of Buddy’s original owner said, “No problem. I got this.” Cool.

I see the friend of a friend of Buddy’s original owner a week later and ask him if he was able to get the forms. “Not yet but don’t worry, I got this.” Cool. Same thing happens a week later. “Not yet but I got this.” OK, not so cool. Let me just make a long story short. I forget all about the friend of a friend of Buddy’s original owner and when I finally see him again several months later, he tells me Buddy’s original owner has moved to North Carolina. No vaccination papers? No problem. Why would anyone lie about that? Buddy’s good.

Almost four years later and we suddenly realize that we’ve never taken Buddy for a check-up. No shots. Nothing. Moreover, we really don’t know if Buddy ever got his shots in the first place. But Buddy’s been as healthy as a dog can be (with the exception of a three day run of diarrhea after he decided to snack on the toxic fibers of a floor mat and the time he started violently frothing at the mouth after accidentally swallowing one of my wife’s Prednisone pills). But we decided it was finally time to take him in for a checkup.

So we all hop in the car and drive over to Banfield Pet Hospital in our local PetSmart…

Ready to roll.

Ah, nothing like my doggy hairs blowing in the wind.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Uh-oh, we’re here.

If you gotta go see the doctor to get shots, always bring somebody along who’ll feel sorry for you afterwards (gets you extra treats!)

Alright, let’s just get this over with.

The Pawn

We’re directed to the doctor’s office and a few minutes later, a young man wearing scrubs walks in. He asks us why we’re here and we tell him Buddy’s story (or lack thereof). He quickly pulls out a trifold pamphlet, opens it up in front of us and asks us to select one of the three Optimum Wellness Plans for Buddy. The choices are a $311.40, $419.40, or $515.40 plan (with convenient monthly payments) plus a one-time membership fee of $69.95(!) I ask the guy, “What ever happened to just getting a dang rabies shot?”

He tells me that because we’re not sure if Buddy ever got his shots that he’s gonna need more than just a rabies shot; he’s gonna need several booster vaccinations. “Booster vaccinations?” Yeah, booster vaccinations (which he explains are additional doses after the initial dose). He assures me this would ensure effective vaccination. “But what ever happened to just getting a dang rabies shot?”

Scare Tactics

He gives us a few minutes to think about it and walks out of the office. A few minutes later, he comes back with the veterinarian; a young blond-haired woman with a pleasant smile and a friendly Southern accent. After introducing herself, her smile suddenly disappears and she begins to describe to us all the horrible diseases that dogs are at risk for. She then warns us of the unbearable suffering that Buddy would undergo were he to be afflicted with any of the aforementioned diseases and the costly treatments that would have to be administered to save Buddy from an agonizing death. She then lists all the horrible diseases that can be transferred to Buddy from mosquitoes, rabbits, squirrels (and other rodents), contaminated water, birds, cats, reptiles, and even other dogs (along with the unbearable suffering, costly treatments and/or agonizing death that might ensue).

Finally, she lists all the horrible afflictions that Buddy, if infected, could (gasp!) pass on to us: diarrhea, fever, stomach pain, rabies, lyme disease, uncontrollable barking, kidney failure (Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!). After a dramatic pause, her smile returns and she asks which of the three plans I’d be interested in so that they can proceed with Buddy’s care and avoid all the unnecessary suffering, costly treatments, and/or agonizing deaths that could possibly befall us all. I see right through her scare tactics, “Well, thank you for trying to scare the living heartworm out of us AND for making us realize how much it sucks to be a dog AND how hazardous it is to own a dog; but what ever happened to just getting a dang rabies shot?”

The Kid Gloves Come Off

The veterinarian looks right at me for about five seconds without saying a word. She then looks at my daughter who’s sitting down holding Buddy’s leash. She then looks back at me, her smile no longer visible. She pauses for another five seconds before asking the question she knows is gonna screw me, “Mr. Perez, don’t you love your dog?” My daughter looks up at me, her eyes eager for an answer. I resist the urge to explain to the veterinarian that I like Buddy (a lot) and if he were to get sick, suffer, and die an agonizing death it would really bother me (a lot) but that I wasn’t expecting to pay $311.40, $419.40, or $515.40 plus a one-time membership fee of $69.95 for him to get his dang shots!

I look over at my daughter who’s still looking up at me. I remember holding her on the day she was born. I remember her looking up at me with her crusty eyes. I swore I’d be able to pick her out from among a thousand other babies; that’s how beautiful she was. She’s looking up at me again now. She doesn’t say a word but her eyes do all the talking for her, “You do love Buddy, don’t you dad?” I turn to the crafty veterinarian and with a voice barely above a whisper, I reply, “OK, I’ll take the $300 package.”

I look back at my daughter and she’s smiling that beautiful smile of hers. Her daddy has a heart after all. I look back at the veterinarian, the smile has returned to her face. My shoulders slump. I feel like I just got sold a pair of skinny jeans by a shrewd JC Penny salesperson (“Your wife is gonna love you in these!”). Well played, young blond-haired veterinarian with the friendly Southern accent. Well played.

I’m quite the specimen, aren’t I?

When one person sticks a couple of needles in your ass while another person has you in a headlock, it’s not a good day.

Yeah, my ass is hurting.

Smell ya later. I’m out.

I wonder how many treats I’ll get when I get home…

There’s no place like home.

Now, about those treats…

Little Girls Own Their Dads

In the end, I’m glad we finally got Buddy his vaccinations (though, after almost four years of good health, I get the feeling that now his hair will start turning purple and he’ll start growing a fifth leg). After all, he is part of the family now. He don’t do a hell of a lot besides lie on his doggy bed all day and it takes him about half a mile of walking before he can find a spot suitable to poop on and he still pees on his leg every now and then but he’s my little girl’s dog. She loves her Buddy and Buddy loves anyone who rubs his tummy and feeds him doggy treats.

Ultimately, it all came down to one simple fact. A fact that the blond-haired veterinarian with the friendly Southern accent knew very well. Daddys love their little girls. And that’s certainly worth $311.40 plus the one-time membership fee of $69.95.

Right?

Subscribe in a reader and never miss a new post. You won’t be sorry…promise.

October 16, 2011

Giving Back

CHARLEE Homes for Children

by Dan Perez May 28, 2011

written by Dan Perez

CHARLEE (Children Have All Rights: Legal, Educational and Emotional) is a private not-for-profit agency that cares for children ages 0-23 years old in Miami-Dade County who have been placed in foster care due to abuse, abandonment and neglect. For almost 30 years, CHARLEE has helped thousands of children in the foster care system begin a new life. With the privatization of the child welfare system in 2005, CHARLEE has doubled in size, providing service to approximately 800-1,000 children annually.

For the second year in a row, I was asked to produce a video for the organization’s “Spring for CHARLEE” fundraising luncheon. Last year’s video helped make the event the most successful ever and produced more first-time donors than any other year. Was it the video? Well, we sure like to think so but see for yourself…

For more information on CHARLEE Homes for Children, please visit: http://www.charlee.org

Subscribe in a reader and never miss a new post. You won’t be sorry…promise.

May 28, 2011

Blog The Written Word

The Klout Myth and Living Above The Influence

by Dan Perez January 2, 2011

written by Dan Perez

If you spend any amount of time on twitter, you’re probably already familiar with Klout, a service which claims to measure your overall online influence. Much has already been written on the pros and cons of Klout (you can find several excellent observations here). To many, however, there is a big difference between real influence and online influence. When I see unemployed, 20-something year-old social media enthusiasts with Klout scores in the 70s, it makes me ask myself: “Who are they really influencing?”. Besides, what exactly does having a high Klout score really mean when Lady Gaga’s score is 90 and Bill Gates’ is “only” 77?

But surprisingly, there is quite an obsession with Klout on social media platforms. I believe for many, Klout is the main reason they “engage” on twitter. The basis of one’s Klout score is correlated to clicks, comments and retweets, so it makes all the sense in the world that the more you tweet, the better the likelihood of a higher Klout score and the “perception” of influence. In contrast, should you happen to take a hiatus from the twitterverse, you just might find your Klout score has dipped a bit (which for some is the equivalent of the sky falling). Such an obsession with something of such little value as one’s Klout score has got to pull time away from more important endeavors, no? Aesop, in one of his many fables, warned: “Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.”

THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

This past New Year’s Eve, I asked my wife and my 13-year-old daughter to suggest three resolutions I should adopt for the new year. #1 on both lists was: “Stop spending so much time on the computer.” Translation? Start spending some more time with us. Now, a good portion of how I make a living is done editing my various video productions on a computer. But it made me take a look at where I’m spending the rest of the time when I’m not editing. I realized that I have indeed spent quite a bit of time frolicking on twitter, reading and commenting on blog posts, “engaging” in twitter chats…and not as much time with my family as I used to.

But has it been all for naught? My time on twitter has produced some pretty interesting results. Other than meeting several terrific people and reading many great blog posts, I’ve gained several thousand twitter followers, realized that my own Klout score rivaled that of some pretty well-established social media “gurus”, and was even asked to be one of the speakers at the UnGeeked Elite conference in Orlando this past Spring (unfortunately, event was cancelled. Totally not my fault. Really.). Not a bad year for my online influence, yes? But is it coming at the expense of my influence in the offline world? With my family? Maybe even my business? Perhaps it’s time to shift my focus back to the things that really matter.

A FRESH PERSPECTIVE

So, allow me to introduce five considerably more important “Influence Metrics” to monitor in 2011:

What’s your Klout score with your spouse? Are you “generating a high level of engagement” with him/her? We tend to take our spouses for granted as we seek the titles of “Thought Leader” and online “Influencer”. We spend hours perusing the web for new content for our blogs and new subscribers so we can finally be comfortable enough to post our feedburner subscription counts on our sites.

Still others (myself included) are consumed with growing their businesses – planning, strategizing, networking. We lead the charge in one direction only to find ourselves alienating our biggest supporter. We end up with a spouse who wonders why you don’t go out to dinner together anymore; why you can’t pull yourself away from the computer for just one night so that you can watch “Charlie St. Cloud” together. A spouse who has tuned you out because a “conversation” now consists of you talking about you. When your spouse starts asking you: “Remember when we used to…”, it’s time to start remembering.

What’s your Klout score with your kids? Are you generating “actions and discussions with nearly every message”? Are they “ambassadors” for your family’s “brand” and values? It’s great when @chrisbrogan retweets your blog post but is your child “retweeting” your message to their “followers” (friends)? You might have a Klout score in the 70s online but your “true reach” with your children might well be in the 30s. Is your quest for online influence taking up the time you could be playing catch with your kid? Having lunch together on a Saturday afternoon? Helping them with their homework? Sitting in the stands watching their soccer game (without staring at your smartphone the whole time)?

Your online Klout score features an “Influence Matrix” with numerous different classifications such as: Celebrity, Specialist, Socializer, Networker, and others. But how about just being #1 Dad to your child? Think I’ll choose that one.

THE “OTHER” COMMUNITY

What’s your Klout score with your clients? Is your product/service generating discussion with your clients? Generating “action” in the form of referrals? The potential of a social media community makes for great blog fodder but a job well done and referrals from your satisfied customers – that’s real. That’s a phone call from a prospect that goes something like this: “Hi, Dan. I’m looking to do a video for my company and the folks over at XYZ Company said you do a terrific job and are great to work with. Can we set up a time to meet up and discuss this project?” That’s measurable. How much time are you investing in making your product and service one that is worthy of being “amplified” by your clients?

What’s your Klout score in your community? What’s the “word on the street” on YOU? Does your community even know who you are? Oh, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean your “online” community (a large percentage of which you’ll never meet or even “engage” with), I’m talking about the community outside your window. Depending on your twitter following, you may find it’s a much smaller community but who ever said quantity mattered over quality? With the onset of social media, most people have forgotten that there’s a living, breathing community right outside their front door. A community where we can volunteer at a local non-profit agency, join a business networking group, be part of the ministry at our church, or simply join a bowling league. A community where people still look into each others eyes and shake hands.

Why? In a recent article from Entrepreneur.com called “What’s Important When You Refer People?“, not surprisingly, “knowing a person’s character” ranked No. 1. So can you really determine a person’s character by their tweets? Their twitter bio? In the 1997 film “Suicide Kings”, Charlie Barret, an ex-mob boss (played by Christopher Walken) tells a bunch of yuppies who have kidnapped him in an attempt to get out of debt: “But I come from out there, and everybody out there knows, everybody lies: cops lie, newspapers lie, parent’s lyin’. The one thing you can count on – word on the street… yeah, that’s solid.” Believe it.

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

What’s the Klout score of the man in the mirror? Are you happy with the person looking back at you? If not, then here’s a better question: Can you influence the person looking back at you? In the end, if we can’t influence that person, what does all the online influence in the world really matter?

I took a look at the man in the mirror today and told him he needs to change. “Why?” he asked. “Because I’m not as proud of you as I used to be”, I replied. He asked “Why?” again. I told him to just shut up and do as he’s told. He stopped asking questions.

What new “Influence Metrics” are you going to start monitoring?

Photography by: http://www.bogacerguvenc.com

January 2, 2011

Giving Back

CHARLEE Homes for Children [2010]

by Dan Perez August 29, 2010

written by Dan Perez

Online video can be a powerful and emotional storyteller – especially for a not-for-profit agency like CHARLEE Homes for Children who care for children ages 0-23 years old in Miami-Dade County who have been placed in foster care due to abuse, abandonment and neglect. For the past 26 years, CHARLEE has helped thousands of children in the foster care system begin a new life. With the privatization of the child welfare system in 2005, CHARLEE has doubled in size, providing service to approximately 800-1,000 children annually.

For this video, we wanted to create an emotional connection with the audience that would bring the viewers closer to CHARLEE’s mission and also serve as a powerful fundraising tool that would help convert more prospective donors and reach a new generation of volunteers. I think we pulled it off. Now, get to know CHARLEE Homes for Children:

Visit: www.CHARLEE.org

August 29, 2010